More things to Come:
10.06.10 (10:35 pm) [edit]Since my last post more things developed. Shortly after that post we found out we are pregnant. I wasn't entirely sure how i felt at first, but now O am excited to be a dad. We're having a little girl and we named her Natalie Esther Pope. My wife is so cute being pregnant! Sex is still the same. Haven't had any since last post. I get a handshake every once in a while but it just doesn't cut it. I crave good ole dogie style, Missionary, weird sex. I'm old enough now that I cannot see the lines between sex and love. I love my wife very much but I do not antiquate love and sex in the same form. I feel i could easily have sex with a friend and not love them like i love my wife. I do however think i would not go there because for the most part I am not, in my own opinion, very attractive to women. To be fair though i have been looking for a "Friend" to be socially intimate with. There's a few girls ive gotten to know but none, from what i can tell, have an interest like that. Maybe it is my personality? Not sure. I do know if the the option became available and offered i might take up on it. Just to satisfy the dirty sex needs i crave so much. We'll see how this goes....
Changes:
04.17.10 (11:50 pm) [edit]A lot has changed in my life since i last posted. It would take four blogs just to cover them so I'll Summarize. I got married to a girl who was not the one i thought i would be. We've been married for 1 year April 4th this year. First things first. SEX stinks. Not with her but just in general. I am 30 now and i know now why my friends were so adamant about me getting some action before hand. She doesnt like sex much. in Fact it hurts her to even go there. She broke her tailbone when she was younger. Lets just say its not the experience i was hoping for or expecting. I do love it but i can count on one hand how many times we have actually had sex. To me thats sad. So....here i am now writing about it. Looking back i really do wish i had at least experienced it with a couple different girls or taken more chances. I dont like to think about being a cheater by any sorts but i yearn to try it with someone different sometimes. I have dreams almost all the time about it. Maybey i need to have a sex buddy or two i could get together with on my days off and hang out with.....like that would ever happen. Dont get me wrong...i love my wife but in my eyes sex is just the tool for means of pleasure and lets face it...im not getting any pleasure out of hurting my wife when we do have sex. She is also passive and conservative so dirty talk or trying new things in bed is out of the question. Like i said i do love her but i always saw myself with someone more outgoing, adventurous and motivating. She tames my heart where i am more grounded in my thoughts though. so i guess it evens out in that aspect, but the sex does not! I feel i would never leave the relationship but if the opportunity was presented i think i might be more inclined to at least eat forbidden fruit. But like i said before....like that would ever happen.
update!
05.01.06 (10:06 pm) [edit]Wow! I just read my old post......and things have certainly changed. I know certain ppl may never read this thing, but none the less i would hate for it to get out. lol! Yeah...the girl i was tlaking about....she has become like the bestest little sis. We became close and she would have to be probably the best christian sister i could ask for. She encourages me sooo much and i love her like all get out for it. Things with Becky are good. We are still freinds, but once ina while things are awkward. My heart is not taken by her so much anymore. She Is still my number one lady and i will be there for her like i would any christian sister. It saddens my heart that the closeness is gone for now, but i know God has a purpose in everything. :-) Im way excited for whats next. Unfortunately i have freinds that are trying to hook me up with ppl. Cant i just do things on my own? appearently not..haha! Something i know and understand now is that there is a season for everything which includes friendships and loveing relationships. Im am not totaly ok with everything the way it is but i accept it. I have faith that God is who he is and he has promised sooo much...and i want to strive to be his tool each and every day. someone once told me........"Friendships are like the wind. some blow hard and strong one moment and then are calm the next. and somedays do not blow at all. Good freinds are a constant wind that keep you cool when its hot and warm when its cold. They are reliable and steady and willing to provide relief when needed." I look forward with no regret and hope to continue to build freidnships and relationships. :-) Till next time...Peace out Homies!
My life with her!
03.11.06 (12:28 am) [edit]I have met someone new that i think is not only amazing but is beautiful and amazingly attractive........she the kind of girl i could really see myself dating and make out with too. SHe mezmerizes me with her smile and beautiful blueish eyes! i want to be with her.......i want her like i cant explain. But shes 17 and it would be a little odd and i would be riddiculed for it all. We are friends for sure....this i can always have with her. I still am in love with Becky though.....she has my heart in a way i cant explain......:-) Oh well, im feeling an eternity of being single and never getting laid....yes i said laid....after marriege that is! Welp, im done.....so far i think im losing......we'll find out though!!!!
unknown!
01.24.06 (12:08 am) [edit]Well.....im sure glad no one i really know has one of these blogs......lol! I would dies if they read these posts. Its not that they are anything odd or out of character but i say things here i hope some dont see in fear they might be offended. I have grown weary and my spirit is failing. I need God to re-light my soul with his eternal flame. I love her.....oooo so much. I would ask her to marry me if we were together...........but im not in the right place just yet and we're not together. i wish to be with no one but her. i have tried my hardest to like other girls but i cant get her outa my mind. But God has his plans. if shes not apart of it all then i understand and will heal over it. I a still lokking for a job too. Im not scared but my body is......its showing signs of stress and wear. anyhoo....thats my story....i'll post again soon.....Pray for me!
Truth!
01.22.06 (2:55 pm) [edit]I love her more than words! But i know shes not willing to take on something now. and shes not ready. I can be ready all day long but if shes not then i cant help it. We talked but i dont think we got the entire truth out of each other. she knows how i feel one way but u think she really knows how i feel and doesnt want to admit it. I want to Kiss her so badley. I want to hold her tight and tell her that i love her. I want to remind her how beautiful she really is and how amazing she is. :-) But.........................................................Its not the right time. Then End!
the truth!
01.18.06 (8:17 pm) [edit]I love her with all my heart. I have never wanted to pursue anyone so much in my whole life. I love her heart, her personality, her smile. I Love her eyes and the way she laughs. I want to marry this girl.......I've wanted something more than ever. But i give it to God. Its in his hands! I LOVE BECKY DECKER! My story......the end!
Today/tomorrow!
10.06.05 (12:40 pm) [edit]Ok, To modify the last post a bit! I do want a girlfirend. But not a holla back Geerl! I want to BD, or "R", or WH. JK! I do think oftne of what it would be like if i did have one. But right now my walk is more importnant. I began writing in a xanga these days which account for me not writing in this one. Sorry about that. I've missed being on the waves. I think theres more coming though. Except this feels like a war! The steddy stampede of soldiers shakes the ground with force i've never felt. The beach Days are over for a while. I have picked up my sword and have begun to prepare for battle. There will be time again for luxery and fun, but for now the battle is brewing. Satan has gethered his troops for an onslaught. or at least he thinks it will be an onslaught. We'll be ready or I'll go down fighting!
Anyhoo, Thats all for today. I'll work on posting some more in the future. :-)
Technical and sutomer support!
09.13.05 (10:10 am) [edit]One thing i hate most about Technical support and customer support is that you finally realize that people are stupid. Thye don't try it for themselves. they call me and want me to make everything feel right as rain. Excuse but I'm no mama! I will not hold your hand and babay step you through life! I hate Stupid People!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!
In other News. I want a girlfriend. I want someone to cuddle with. I want to Marry Becky Decky or Rahcel or Whitney!!!!! Ugh! I'm tired of being lonely!
Thats all!
I'm done!
-J
Another new begining!!!
08.16.05 (8:27 am) [edit]Sorry for the long wait in writing. God has had me busy these days. He's blessed me more than i could ever want or need. I finally sold the truck paid off the bike and bought a new car that gets Da Bomb gas milleage. I'm saving like 150 month in Gas. Anyhoo, He's blessed me also this summer with a firend that i care deeply about. lets just say that i can't get close to girls period. But i took a chance with Rachel and we are close. I'm frightend though because now i have feelings for her that i didn't intend to have. Also, I need to tell her up front that i care for her a lot. But i didn't get the chance. She's left for school already and every time i get a chance something happens. So i've decided to just bite the bit and go down and confront this head on. But i don't want to make a mistake . It's a risk, but a good one. Things could go two ways. She's feels the same way or doesn't. thats it. nothing more or less. I'm just afraid of losing such an awesome companion like her. I am dreading yet not dreading the talk. But i don't know when i'll get the chance to do it. I have to be proactive in it though. Of course i have my doubts too. Theres many conflicting things about us both that don't add up. it could be a good thing but could also be bad. take for instance our taste in cloths. She's a classy gal. I am not. I rarely dress like a prep. I'm a beach boy at heart. Shorts sandals and t-shirts are my wardrobe. She Like Sushi. Now i will eat it, but will avoid it if possible. Our taste in music and entertainment are similar. In fact she has influenced me more towards the opera and arts itself because of her love for them. let's just say that she's grown on me a lot. I miss her now though. She's gone back to school and won't call me. We started talking about thing the other night but her phone died. I wish she would call. I miss the sound of her voice on the other end. I wake up daily thinking of her and wish nothing but the best for her day. God has blessed me with such odd emotions. But my focus in all is on God and his plan. It would be nice to have someone there beside me to enjoy the blessing too. But i don't want to make the mistake of thinking this might be her just because i have feelings for her. Emotional irrationality is what i'm feeling. A little Jealousy too. She started talking late at night with this new guy named Jerod. I personally think she has a thing for him. But i wont know unless i ask. Anyhoo, i just pray that i continue to do best what i do best. Being ME! And remeber that nothing matters over my relationship with God.
Till next time, peace out!
-Jason
The Holy Spirit ... My "Meat Tenderizer"
05.16.05 (8:26 am) [edit]I discovered a spiritual illustration in my kitchen cupboard! The label of my ADOLPH'S Meat Tenderizer carries an extraordinary promise: Turns commonplace cuts into gourmet products!
YES, LORD, I'm just a commonplace cut, I'd like to be a gourmet product fit for the Master's use, How can this happen? Five simple steps are given:
1. Moisten all surfaces. The dealings of God in my life may produce tears. The hurts of life are real and painful. Yes Lord!!My heart first needs to be moistened. All surfaces.
YES, LORD, top to bottom, every part of my life is available to You. I hold nothing back.
2. Sprinkle tenderizer generously. The Holy Spirit is my Tenderizer. He is at work in my life. He transforms my heart of stone into a tender heart of flesh (Ezek.36:26,27). He liberally sprinkles God's promises on my hurting heart to encourage me, lift me up.
YES, LORD, help me accept Your loving work in my life.
3. Pierce deeply with a fork at 1/2 inch intervals. Pain, affliction, sorrow have a redemptive purpose in my life. My tough, stubborn will needs to be broken. But God doesn't break my spirit. He loves me and desires to bring out His best in me. Sometime trouble seems to invade every area of my life at once. Every half-inch of my world cries out for relief!
But YES, LORD, I open even the deepest areas of my life to you.
4. Marinate. God's work in my heart takes time. Oh, Lord, waiting is so hard! I am impatient to get out of my difficulty. But my Heavenly Father knows I need time to accept what He is doing in my life.
YES, LORD, give me patience while you marinate me!
5. Bake, broil, barbecue, roast or microwave immediately. I cry, "Enough already! Surely I don't need more heat!" But my Lord must apply heat to separate imperfections from the pure gold. The fire of affliction is the refiner's fire. My oven experience is essential. When God's time is right ... when I have learned the lessons He has been trying to teach me, He will deliver me from the oven of my affliction in His own way.
The result of this painful process? I will be a gourmet product, fit for my King! I will have a tender, sensitive, responsive heart of flesh toward my Lord. A heart that joyfully, quickly, genuinely responds to Him with a YES, LORD, YES! The label on my jar of Meat Tenderizer says 100% Natural. But God's spiritual process is 100% Supernatural. Man cannot duplicate it. Only the Holy Spirit can prepare my heart to please God.
Recently, the ingredients in my jar of Meat Tenderizer have been modified. The label now reads: NO MSG. Monosodium Glutamate was found to be injurious to our health. In God's process of maturing me though trials, the Holy Spirit is the only active ingredient-perfectly pure and always working for my good.
Being apart of something more.
05.04.05 (12:32 pm) [edit]Ever wonder what it would be like to be apart of somthing bigger than yourself. I'm starting to feel this in so many ways. God has Changed my perspective and i'm enjoying the view he's got set up for me. I used to shy away or run infear of what I might see. But now its in all honesty refreshing now. Even when i know it's gonna be bad or unpleasent. Jesus always told us to be joyful in hard times and be happy in everything. I didn't really know what that meant till recently. I used to alwasy want, if not buy, the things that make this world enticing. I stated with the vehicle i wanted in highschool. It was a 98 Jeep Wrangler Saharah edition with huge tires. It wasn't what you'd call a gas saver thats for sure. Then i wanted a pickup. Onece again i traded my jeep for a 2000 Dodge ram 1500 4x4 which has a 5.2 ltr V8. And it got incredibly horrible gass mileage. Then to top off my selfishness i bought a Motorcycle. I bought all this stuff and thought it was great to have an fullfilling. But over the last year God's worked on me. I've been waiting for my mission and i finally figured it out. So how do i see it now you may ask. Well, i've got my Motorcycle up for sale and then my truck. Then i'm gonna take the money I make off the truck and pay off my debt. Then with the remainder i'm gonna buy a dirt Cheap vehicle that gets awesome gas mileage. I'm basically getting rid of the thing i don't need. I'm seeing everything like this now. Nothing look enticing anymore. Except God's will. I want to fulfill his wishes for my life as much as possible. Everything else look pale in comparison.
To help this new process of changeing myself. i have prayed for god to show me what i should do. a year ago i enrolled for classes at Oklahoma Wesleyan University. I planned on bulking up on my knowledge for god so completely that there would be no way i couldn't serve him good. But i was posed a question by a coleague. "Are you doing now what you would do then?". Makes sense. My answer to myself was no. I was selfish and unwilling to help those who needed me and was unwilling to let God move through me. So i backed out of the acceptence and began a journey to finding God in all things. He's not only revealed himself to me but changed me for the better. Over the last year it was so invigerating to be apart of the bigger picture. But over the last couple of months i've really felt that mabe he's led me here to find a calling of sorts. I decided i want to work with college folk in campus ministry. It become a passion now. And i knew i needed to go to school for some stuff to get the ball rolling. I prayed about it for about a month, asking God to show me if this is something he'd want me to do. Then out of the blue yonder i got to know a guy named Jody who just so happened to work at OWU. He came to me and said he thought i should go to school there. And told me get with hom and he help me with all the paperwork. We he doesn't just work for OWU. He teaches and is the Director of Adult Graduate Studies(AGS) which is what i needed into. And to top it off i didn't have to fill anyhting out except a line saying i would like to go there. No i'm filling out my FAFSA to get some aid to go there. In all it looks like God just laid it out there for me . I can't ignore it anymore. I have to do it all the way. Unless he stops me for some reason. Anyhoo, This fall i will be taking adult classes here in tulsa. I'm not sure what they will be but i'm sure God will help me there too. So be praying for me on it. I'm pumped to see whaere it leads.
In other news. J/K Not much else to talk about. I haven't been feeling to good lately, due to alergies. We've had some unusual weather patterns that have just torn me up. Oh well, Life goes on. I still don't have anything on the woman front. But i'm not concerned about that anyway. Like i said before. Things just don't have the apeal they did before. Have a blessed day. Peace out yo's
In Him,
Jason Pope
(Psalm 116:7)
"Relax! Calm down, my stressed-out soul;
Let peace pour through:
You've got proof that God's been good to you." (WOTS)
The wonder of it all.
04.26.05 (1:49 pm) [edit]Ever wonder how ppl become friends? I've often asked myself how it begins. Unfortunatly its the ending of them that is painful. Building a friendship is a tough one. Especially if its not a give and take one. I have tried for a long time to make new friends. Especially good Christian friends. You're probably aksing yourself why i'm talking about this. Well, for whatever reason it feel like I've lost Rachel as a friend. I've done a lot to try and be there for her in many aspects. Mainly as a christina brother lending a helping hand. But there no reverse to the relationship. I have put forth a lot of time and effort to be there. I never once got a thank you or even a hug. Mind you i vent about it here. But i don't vent outside this thing we call the internet. The reason is because all i've heard from her is how hard she works for stuff and is always getting dissappointed. The problem though is she sets herself up for the dissappointment. She get busy working on something then when it doesn't go her way she falls apart. Literally! She will ball and cry and whine. Yes is Said WHINE! She is a big Whiner! I'm not afraid to call you a Whiner if the shoe fits. I used to look at rachel as someone who would definately make some guy happy someday. But i've come to beleive that thats a lofty goal. She has Issues. But even though she has issues they are workable. She will get through it all just fine. Unfortunately i've been hurt in the process. I'm a sucker to help out someone and an even bigger one when they become apart of my everyday thoughts and goals. What i mean by that is that its one thing to care for ppl but it becomes deeper when you get close. You tend to want to be there for them more. Personally? I feel like giving up alltogether. She never calls back or offers herself as someone to lean on. Not once have a ever heard her talk to me like a friend. We've chatted and had some good discussion. But in all i feel like i'm some oler guy she can talk to whenever it feels convienent for her. Kind of like a Care buddy. Use and lose! .....Ok, mabe thats a little far off but it sure feels that way.
I really care about her. And it's gotten worse. I've begun to have feeling for her i don't need to have. It's mainly come about out of being there for her when others weren't. It just hurts to know that theres seem to be no gratitude for that ebing there.
I don't know. Mabe things just aren't as they seem. Nabe she's scheming a big party for me or something. Mabe she's gonna jump out of a closet and say "Surprise, I care about you too and thank you for being so strong". I know it sounds lofty but hey! i can dream can't i?
Overall I've made many friends but none that are close. It really sucks. Especially when you live alone and don't really plan on having a relationship anytime soon. Mind you i t ouwld be nice to have but it only material. I want things that are heavenly bound. My future signifigant other will want the same thing. I think i've come to terms that i;m co-dependant in areas. In that i can be there for someone knowing that it will be repaid insome form or fashion. I look forward to meeting that girl that is one the same wavelink as me. I fully beleive Kalista and I had that connection. I wish things had been different. I cared more about her than anything. The same goes for Candace. But the Candace thing was all whack though. I still care about both of them in ways i wonder if i'll ever feel again. For Kalista i would have done anything. I miss those days. Oh well, Enough of this mushy stuff. I've a life to lead and places to go. Peace out!
In Him,
Jason Pope
(Psalm 116:7)
"Relax! Calm down, my stressed-out soul;
Let peace pour through:
You've got proof that God's been good to you." (WOTS)
Tention!!!!!!!
04.04.05 (12:59 pm) [edit]What do you do when lifes just not adding up. I've got a feeling God is definately starting to put my beleif to the test. And also to test how i can endure conflict. For years prior i've been fast to fly off the handle. I'm the kind of guy you could push only so many times then i would snap. Snap as in retaliate in a verbal manner or excuse. I would be extremely defensive. these last couple of weeks have definately been a test. And its seems to hit my boiling point today, which is why i'm writing. I need to get it out of my head in order to be clean minded and Christ focused. That being said, heres the scoop. During workshop there was a lack of communication going on and at some point those who were going on missions all thought they were getting all the proceeds. Now i know the later which i explained to them later on. Anyhoo, my first respose to the negativity was to tell them all to shut the bleep up and deal with what they got. Instead i kept my mouth shut, which is not what i wanted to do but for some reason knew they would figure it out. Which they did by the way. God really showed me to humble myself in that situation. I figured out that even though i knew what they should have been thankful for that God had a plan to humble to whole thing altogether.
Now for the part in which this blog in entitled. This morning Anne asked me what i did for the weekend. So i went about telling her of my exploits of putting new tires on my bicycle and mentioned that Rachel had called. For those who don't know Rachel is Anne's daughter. Anyhoo, i mentioned a conversation me and Rachel had and told anne how rachel was whineing about not coming home for the weekend and that she told me a long time ago that she wouldn't ride a bicycle for fun. But that if it were me and a fw other she would enjoy it....... Now at this point Anne answeres the phone and i go about my business. but just as i go into my office/hole in the back to start on the days load she comes back here and is all uptight for some reason. Mind you i have no clue whats wrong. Then she comes back and gets in my face saying that rachel works hard and that she is struggling and that she feels i should never again say that she is a whiner. Mind you i thought i was going to get my botty junked thought my body and out my mouth, by thye sound of it. Well I really wanted(still do for the most part to retaliate and ask her what the heck she is talking about. I know rahcel is hard working and is struggling. I've spent the entire last year trying to be a supportive christian brother and friend. The christian brother part is easy. being the friend isn't. Sometimes i don't know if she thinks i a friend or not. I certainly don't feel it sometimes. But thats another blog all its own. back to the story. The whole day has been a tention zone because of Anne verbal anger towards me in which i have no idea why she feels that way. If i thought rachel was a whiner i would tell her( which i have) but in a nice joking way. One thing i really want to say to anne is, "either confront me head on or back off, cause you are cramping my day". or " Do you want me to feel sorry for rachel? Peopl have offere to help her at time but she hasn't wanted it. so you have no right to blow in my direction". Of course that would be the ultimate confrontation for me. I decide to keep to myself and emailed anne and apologized for the comment and offending her.
I'm not sure where it will all go. I haven't yet hear a response to the email. Rahcel asked me if i would come down for a gome saturday. I'm getting the feeling that i may not be wanted. So now i'm debating the issue. What he has planned i'm just going to let it unfold and tell satan to back off. This is my territory to give up. not his to take. So is you are reading this please pray about the whole thing. I'm fighting a battle in my heart to potentially retaliate. I've slowly been relaizing that i need to let go of a lot of anger that builds up in me. I'm praying that whatever anne is battling will run it's course. She a good friend and i would not like to lose a friend over something petty. Anyhoo, Other than that all is good. I've been blessed more that i could talk about. I'm needing some direction though. I need somewhere to go. I'm waiting. Be praying about that too. Thank yall. Peace out!
-Jason
A new begining.
03.29.05 (11:57 am) [edit]Hey yall,
Sorry i haven't written in a while. Things have been moving so fast. Last week was the International Soul Winning workshop here in Tulsa. Click here for info on it http://www.tulsaworkshop.org/... It's an incredible conference where folks can go to clasees and visit a plethera of vendors. Also, there are a ton of colleges there that are ready to meet with potential students. We'll i could go on and on about it but the site would proabbly explain it all better than i could. go check it out!
On another note of life. Friendships have been growing. I got to meet a whole lot of new ppl at workshop and got to know others even more. Rachel Especially has been a taks to get to know. She's not very open and takes a long time to get to know you. Over the last few weeks we've grown closer. I'm not sure where she would catagorize it but i call it a close friendship. I don't get much response from her at times though. It's as if i have to read her every thought just to know what she means. Mid you i don't mind this. In fact its made getting to know her easy. This is something thats allowed me to see that i should be doing the same thing getting to know God and what he wants from me. We spend all the time in the world getting to know ppl here on earth but never use the same tried and true method for getting to know our father. Getting to know Rachel has spurred me to want to know God more.
It's been so nice being single. I recently adopted a 10 week old siberian Husky. She's so cute. And She's the most playfull pup ever. She's Black and white and has the classic Raccoon eyes. She's a sweetie. Like i said. it been nice being single and haveing the abiblity to do this. And to be honest i've never looked for relationships besides having close friends. However recently this has changed a bit. The other evening Rachel called me and we talked about usual stuff like, How's the day, how did your test go, Etc. Then right through mid conversation she told me she was talking to Caleb,(A friend she knows from OC)and said to him that she's decided that she's ready to change things up, maneing that she's ready to try dating and whatnot. Now i wasn't sure where this was going but i decided to continue because she gets a little cryptic when it comes to saying stuff up front, If you know what i mean. You have to figure it out on your own what she means.
Anyhoo,She continued to explain how she was "Ready to Date" but she wasn't sure who. Then ol' Caleb asked her why she didn't date me. Wow! now thats a turn for the wierd. I was in all honestly expecting her to say," You mean Jason Pope? He's nice but EW! it would be wierd and liek dating my brother! " but no. She told him, "Jason Pope? But it's Jason Pope!". Ok, Now the sotry is thickening right. Hold on cause it gets better!
Just before this part of the conversation took place she was going on about a hororscope she found online. She asked me what my sign was. So like the moron i am i told her. "Virgo" i said. We'll Then i asked her about the compatibilty charts. You know? those charts that tell you which sign you are most compatible with. Some say that if they match, compatability wise then you are meant to be together. We'll whe starts to look up guys she knows who's birthdays are in the 80's. I said why not go back a bit. She looked up all the guys she "kind of liked" and that i knew of. None of them were even close to matching. Ok! you might now know where i'm going with this. LOL! We'll She then asked me what year i was born in. I waited for a little bit and then she went silent. Then laughed and said, Wow! it says me and you are the most compatible and that we were faited to be together!" Ok, mabe not the Faited part. I like to embelish a bit ok! :-) Ok, now back to the conversation that happened after this. to recap she told Caleb that she was ready to date. Now with that said and what was said previously what should i think?..... I mean to be onest i never thought about dating her, but the whole friendship thing sure made more sense now. Mabe she's been getting to know for for other reasons. You know? Testing the waters to see. I'm not really sure how to approach if at all. I'm gonna let God show his glory as usual and let him show me the truth. I could be blowing things way out of proportion like guys do sometimes. It just came across so abrupt! not in a bad way though.
It's the kind of thing thats make a man scratch his head and wonder. I hihghly respect Rachel and who she is. In fact i care about her very deeply. I'd take a bullet for her. Not that that would ever happen. but i care enough to say it at least. Oh well, It's not a bother which is good. It wont eat at me or anything. I'll let life and God takes the course. He's got it under control. Anyhoo, Be praying about all this if your reading this. God has some awesome stuff planned and i can't wait to be apart of it. Till next time!
Peace Out!
-Jason
New Year!! Whats to come?
01.04.05 (9:12 am) [edit]Well,
It's a new year now. 2005. Who knew we would make it this far. Lots of things have happened since my last posting. I apologize to any readers that may have been closely watching my blog here. I've been out of the loop for a while. Things around Work have been a buzz. I've not had a slow day in months it seems. I look forward to a vacation. I know i always talk about going but never do. I have a realter now selling my house for me which is nice since they know more about that stuff than me. And to update ya'll i've acutally been looking at a new house in another town. It's about 15 min south of my current home. But it's a brand spankin new home and the price is unbeatable. Anyhoo, I've really been ficus these last few months on God and his plans. I've been leading our local college group in several areas now. I'm not quite sure how i got here but i'm excited to see where things are gonna go. God has really blessed me with such an awesome family and friends.
Now whats in store for '05? Who knows. All i know is that God has it under control. I'm just using my time wisely to be available for God and whatever he needs me to do. This way if he needs me i know it and can do what needs to be done, minstry wise. On the relationship area. Things have been quiet. Me and Rachel(Annes's Daughter)have been getting closer as friends. Things just feel good between us. I really like her and care for her wellbeing. Oh, Don't get me wrong. I am attracted to her. Just not in the way most ppl would think. We have a good common Bond. We lionk with each other on some interesting levels. She a blast to hang around and it feels good to finally havea girl i can share things with again. It a big releif to me to have her apart of mt life.
I have though met this girl that o am extremely attracted to. Not sexually as most would think. But spiritually! Her name is Whitney Hassley. She is Da Bomb! One problem i have though is i've only hung out with her a oucple of time and have never had a chance to really talk to her on a more personal level. It looks though that she will be coming around more often to see us which is a plus. I'm usually pretty good at flirting, At least in a friendly way. But with her i am speechless. It's mainly because i haven't gotten to know here and she doesn't know me. And since that is the case there is sometimes an awkwardness to it all sometimes. But i'm sure once i ge tto know here we'll be hangin out all the time or something. Ok! So i like to set my goals lofty. Doesn;t hurt. It's not like i'm looking to get hitched or anything. LOL! I only look to see if they would be a compatible mate. which is the point of getting to know someone.
Well, Thats about it for now. I'll attempt to blog more often than i have. I pray everyone reading this is being blessed in some way or another. God Bless you all! TNT!
-Jason Pope
New and imporved!
08.26.04 (11:16 am) [edit]:)
Ok, One last thing to rant about. I do not like this new Beta Blog editor. It doesn't allow me to view all my previous text when i add a smiley or something. Thats just wrong. Anyhoo, I fugure it will get better over time. I keep in mind that patience is a virtue. Ha! I just know to wait and it will happen. Hehe!
later, I;m out!
-Jason Pope
True Translation
08.25.04 (1:52 pm) [edit]:?
Not much has happened since the last i wrote. Things are well. A friend of mine is getting married Saturday, which i had forgot about. My bad! then a couple of weeks after that two friends from church are getting married. WOW! PPL are hooking up all over. And although i wish i could too i'm not in any hurry. We had a study last night and went over 1st Corinthians Chpts 3-6. Paul talks a lot about Judgment and Sexual Immorality. He refers to judgement as ok in one instance and not good in another. But as i did some digging with a friend as to the reason of this i found something that is indeed interesting. Growing up and being read the bible a verse that stands out that is used a lot is " Judge not lest ye be Judged" . Through some digging we found that the literal translation does not mean judge but condem. so the verse essentially reads " Condem not lest ye be condemed". Not what paul talks about make a little more sense. It would be wrong to condem someone but judgement is something that is a need. Like a court judge is appointed to oversee proceeding and make a judgment. A court Judge does not Condem, only Judges. Interesting to think about. So essentially if my walk is stumbling i can be judged by my peers and family but only God's judgment counts. They cannot condem me, Only God can. Wow! thats pretty deep. Ok sorry to go off on that. Had to get it out. it's been on my mind all day.
:P
The rest of the day is a bit slower than i would want it to. I'll get over it though. Everyone has left for school now. I miss them already. I'm gonna have to make new friends now. :-( It's ok though. Mabe i'll meet someone special.
:D
Well, I'd better get back to work. Lots o PPL to work on over the phone. You tech support guys out there know what i mean. Later Y'all.
-Jason
:roll:
Long ime since then
08.20.04 (9:26 am) [edit]:)
being back has been awesome though. I have like som many friends getting married in the next few months. It's really wierd. But God has done nothing but bless me this last few weeks. 2 sundays ago i joined the church. I think i previously wrote that i was unsure about being there. but God answered my prayer by showing me how to use the gifts he gave me. I'm now somwewhat of a leader in the college group now. It's like being in a family really. And i'm a big brother. I've never been a leader before and it's kinda of cool to be here. Wow! Thank you God for everything.
We even started a Guys accountability group. It has kept me in line more than once to be able to rely on someone and they rely on you. it Rocks!
As far as the Girl thing goes.... I'm in no hurry unless there are some really awesome chics that would love to meet me? (Shameless advertisment. Sorry!)
I have found a really awesome chic who is also and awesome frined and i'm going to take this time now to give her some Kudos. I've probably talked about her before. Her name is Rachel French. She is the most awesomw friend thats a girls i've had in a long time. She also takes my breath away. Her willingness to let god lead her life make a person just want to be near her. So kudos to you Rachel! You Rock!
Another person who i've grown close to is a new friend i've met through an aol chat room. Her Name is Kristina Rodruguez. She live in LA, CA. And she also totally rocks! I have never been good at sharing my feelings with someone, especially over IM and have never met except through picutres. But she has been an awesome presence while i'm at work. She's online pretty much all the time and we click so well, As far as minds can. SO here's the biggest Kudos of All to You Kristina! Love ya Babe!
Well, Thats about the best that happend. Now for the worst. PPl be praying cause this is sticky. We've had a friend that is getting married and has started disconecting all ties with firendships. Worst off all the two of them have done is lie about things. So i'm not sure whats happening or why but just pray that God works things out for them. They've become close to me and i would het to lose them. So just be praying.
Ok, Thats it. Thats just about all i can think of. So God bless you all and hopefull i will keep things more up-to-date. God Bless!
-Jason Pope
:D :D
Learning.
05.06.04 (12:03 pm) [edit]It's been a while i know. A lot has happened since i last wrote. God has been opening doors in my life. Recently i received a letter from an old friend i cared a lot about. Let;s just say i would have married this person. anyhoo, she wrote me a letter which is basically an answer to prayer. When we were around each other we were really close. And i mean closer than i could ever be to anyone especially a chic. She had some past issues the arose around the time we got close. One day she just walk out of our friendship. I was heart broken but it only strengthend my relationship with God. I prayed that she was alright and the God was lessing the Burndens she carried. Then i got the letter. Man God is Awesome. She basically told me how much she missed me and how sorry she was leaving our firendship behind. I have never felt so upkifted by the next sentece or so. She said that through a Christian group she went through a 12 step program to deal with those issues. Basically God let her out of the wilderness. :)
That was exactly what i had prayed for. The sad thing now is she's getting married. But i'm ok with that right now. I've since our firendship learned a lot and ogd didn't plan for us to be together. 8)
In other news. THe house is starting to look more normal by the day. Scott finally moved out but is now not talking to me for some reason. Oh Well, Life goes on. Later world and all who read me.
-Jason Pope :D
Back in Action
04.12.04 (12:37 pm) [edit]Hello Hello. Long time no write. Well here the update since my last login. MY roommate finally moved out. There still a little stuff left but the majority of his stuff is gone. This week i will be cleaning house and getting it ready to paint and then sell. I am stoked about getting out of that place. I will take an apartment over a house anyday right now. They are least a bit more cleaner. Anyhoo, All weekend helped scott and some other PPL move some stuff out. All that work wore me out. But it felt good to do something instead of laying around.
One of the things i really look forward to is Bicycling around the area and losing weight. The apartment complex has some Da-bomb landscape and since it's on 91st i'm just a bridge away from Jenks. A ver pretty place to nike to. I am alos looking forward to having some time thinking to myself. I need to be doing some focusing on the Big guy for a bit and not the world. :oops:
Well thats the update. Works is as usual. Stressfull. Later yall.
-Jason :wink:
Spring Again.
03.22.04 (12:35 pm) [edit]Well, here we are again. It's spring and it's getting warmer. Warm is good. it means i can go outside and lose wait. Haha! i mean Weight. In april i will be working on my house getting ready to sell. I am excite moving to an apartment. It will be much less of a hassle. Plus i'll be more to myself and have a pool to swim in all summer long. I can't wait. Also, what come with spring is Good weather to ride in. Ride my Magna that is. I'll have to say. the other day i went on a ride just around town and it took my breath away. I even went and bought a new helmet so i can ride safely. I am slowly growing my gear. They'll mostley be holiday presents. That's all i've asked for.
One thing i don't like about this time of year are the Spingtime Blues. That feeling of being lonely and wanting someone in your life. I wish I could find that one girl I would be compatible with. My only thought is i want to make that girl happy. I want to cuddle and share my feelings with. Ok, I'm getting Gushy. I'm gonna stop. God will put that person in my path soon enough. I'm just getting older thats all. I'm the youngest one here but am single. The SB's will pass. I will be ok. It's just hard to see scott enjoy his relationship when i don't have one. Oh Well. Thats life. :roll:
Hope everyone has a good spring. I will b e on my way to loosing wait and looking great.
STOP THE INSANITY! :twisted:
I'm Out!
Listen and learn:
03.12.04 (10:39 am) [edit]Man i'll have to say that working with a woman in the midst is getting on my nerves. These ups and downs are not exactly what i care to listen too. If you have a problem just say something. :)
Good lord don't act like i have a problem. What can i do about it. absolutely nothing. I don't know what else to do. It's just going to fester because this lady can't take the hint. oh well, I hope she choke on a rhine today. Ok.. No i don't thats not nice of me. Oh well.
The truth!
03.11.04 (10:00 am) [edit]I work for c ompnay that is called Softouch Development. This is their Mission Statment:
[i]Softouch Development was founded in 1991. Since our conception we have developed and deployed three major product lines, the latest being EasyWorship. Softouch is a privately held company with no outstanding debts. Our specialties include producing easy-to-use, stable products that the majority of the world can use. Our primary focus is to continue to make EasyWorship the best projection software product on the market. We want churches to have a viable, quick, stable, feature rich, easy-to-use solution for a reasonable price. Where others have finished, we have just started.
We pray that your search for a product will end with us but ultimately that you'll formulate a trusting relationship with a company that can provide you a useable product today as well as in the future. We want you to be blessed and we want God's kingdom to be enriched through the gifts he has given us.
There are other solutions on the market today that has God's highest in mind. Search wisely and you will not be disappointed. And remember to pray.[/i]
This statment basically says that they are not in it for the money. Or are they?
Late ly i have been struggling with the fact that the system is faultering. What we are saying is not what we are doing. We are Putting the monay first in the business and saying "Let make sure we get this sale" which to me is kind of retardted seeing that our statment says otherwise. It's just difficult to understand how thing get to to this point. how do we operate on this level. The answer................. you can't. You have to just bear and grin it. as i always say. Say yes mam and yes sir. Well.... no more. I'm not going to say it's ok. I may just be lazy but i don't intentionally try to piss ppl off by sending them to the website. If they haven't tried it , Which normally the haven't, i tell them about the website and let them decide. Usually what happens due to our website's stupid credit card processing problem is that they call back and want to order. I don't mind at that point but don't get on to me for giving them a choice. I just want them to make that decision themselves. Thats why it's called free will. :wink:
They need to get with the progrma and realize that this world is going to be busy as alkl get out and that we need to relax and let someone make their own decisions for themselves. We can't tell every person that calls in that they don't have a choice, they have to order over the phone right now! :x That just wouldn't be kosher. And ppl would really get pissed then. Think about it. Take away someones right of choice and they will be defensive no matter what..
Ok. i'm finished. All i can do is my part and pray. I can't make ppl understand the thought of Free will. And no one will either till they see it for themselves. It sucks but thats life in the world.
Later! :shock:
Passion:
03.03.04 (2:34 pm) [edit]Last Sunday night i went and saw "The Passion of the Christ" directed by Mel Gibson. It turned a lot of questions for me. Made me think real hard about the life God has set for me and the path that i am going to walk to get there.